Nothing is impossible
A little more about my personal story of curing
the ‘incurable’ bipolar disorder

When I had developed a severe medicine poisoning after being strongly medicated for over 25 years, I had a wake up call. My body said STOP! My mind said STOP! Basically my whole being said STOP!

I have to admit that there have been times when the medication has saved me. Those drugs might be needed in some risky moments to prevent even worse. But used as a maintenance tool to keep some sort of ‘balance’ (for what it is worth) it is deadening…! Your body and mind go from bad to worse to being even more lost and sick.

I had tried to get rid of the medication several times before but never managed without sinking in deep depressions or getting lost in my unstoppable manic energies. I had learned to ‘live with’ the disease and learned to accept the ‘fact’ that I needed the medications. And I was trying to accept the many side effects it had in my life – and in the last place in my body and mind. I was living in a permanent heavy mind fog filled with all kind of scary sensations. Missing out on most of my life because I spent a lot of my days surviving in clinics or stuck in my house. My mood swings were severe with a complicated pattern of having Ups and Downs in a very rapid cycling and even at the same time! So the medication that I got for this was out of this world.


I was very afraid, because I had internalized the idea that for me it was not possible to live without the medication because my brain failed to create certain substances myself and my body was not able to stay balanced. But with the right support I did quit my medication. It took me over two years to carefully let go, replacing it with natural supplements that supported my brain and body functions and completely changing my way of eating: putting things in my body with a ‘energy vibration’ that supported my health and well being instead of creating more debris inside of me that my body had to cope with.

Food was a very important means of curing my body: getting the right stuff in that my body needed for its important life functions to run smoothly and avoiding too much toxins in my system. And I did a lot of detoxing, when my body became strong enough (in the beginning I was too weak to handle the toxins in my blood stream – when they get out of your system they will have to pass anew through your body fluids! – so detoxing was not yet possible). Fresh air. Connecting with nature. Some kind of movement so the body can make space for the energies inside and gets stronger. Yoga. Meditation to develop the ‘watcher’ in me to replace the victim. And last but definitely not least connecting with the divine source within me. Creating a discipline of awareness in my daily life and live life at the fullest. In me, all the symptoms and side effects of the strong medication (that weren’t recognized as such at the time but labelled as the neurological consequences of a couple of very severe depressions, that I ‘had to accept and live with’) are gone.

I might still have a predisposition for mood swings, but to be honest, most of the time I feel like the most balanced person around! I am happy, healthy, strong, connected with the source, sharing my gifts and living without medication now for almost five years.
I even appreciate my ‘predisposition’ as an immense GIFT nowadays, the ability to easily connect me to others realms … The way I see it now is much different:

My conceptual patterns have always been a bit different from what I saw around me… No, I didn’t know how to handle them and it made me feel misunderstood, miserable and depressed. Being born in a Western culture, the solution in my society was to give me medication to stop these experiences.

It was only with the help of (indigenous) medicine plants that I really got it: my ‘disorder’ was truly a gift! I learned to have more conscious encounters with the other dimensions of reality and STAY CONNECTED with this reality at the same time.

OMG, we in the West feel so superior with our ‘advanced way of thinking’. Yet, we have to admit that some indigenous people are far ahead of us in another kind of knowledge that can’t easily be put in words – like interspecies relationships and comprehending other realms of ‘reality’.

Hence all my work with the Medicine Plants and the Shamans nowadays. But that is the next story… The story of today. A story that replaced that old one about having a disorder. The incurable cured 2?


Check this link to read what I wrote about this a year ago:

Much love, Yama